Despite appearances, he really is an affectionate guy, huh?
[The particulars of Jean’s wording aren’t missed by Subaru. It’s not that he hasn’t noticed it too, that Eren wasn’t quite himself. He’d seen his bloodlust before, but this was…different.
He winces, as the thorns are pulled out, involuntarily jerking his leg.]
I meant to ask him, but…[He’s dead now.] since I can’t, I figure you’re the next best option. Did something happen?
[ Jean's not actually judging him, though. They're just two guys who used to fight rather than admit they were worried about each other. They still act this way, to be fair, but Jean's a little more in tune with how he's feeling.
He makes an apologetic, soothing noise when Subaru jerks his leg, but doesn't grab it or accidentally jab him - he's used to twitchy patients.
At the question, though, Jean glances to the side, where 'their' room is. Neither of them have slept in it, so the door remains solidly closed. ]
Mikasa... she's not here anymore. When the Knight showed up, I thought maybe she'd been taken but her things are missing.
[ Her network ID is dead, as well. Grief is visible all over Jean's face again, but he knows Mikasa and Eren were even closer than he was. ]
[Subaru lowers his head. He didn’t know Mikasa, but he knew what she meant to Eren. It’d be like if he lost Emilia, but…at least he has Emilia to go back home to. He knows that Eren’s future is more bleak.
The grief on Jean’s face makes it all too clear what the answer to his next question will be.]
There’s no way of knowing if she’s coming back, is there…?
[ Of this, Jean is certain. Why would either of them choose to return to a world where Eren is dead? For all the pain and suffering they've dealt with here, it's still nothing compared to back home.
In this, Subaru's wounds provide a good distraction, Jean carefully removing the last of some thorns and then gently wiping away blood. As he speaks, his voice is as gentle as his hands. ]
I hope... one day, she comes back. But I don't know if Eren has the ability to hope for that, anymore.
[Subaru’s been there; he knows what it’s like to live without hope, and though he’s managed to bounce back from it, he’d never wish that on anyone else.
Let alone someone he loves.
He sighs, and folds his arms.]
Then there’s nothing for it. You and me - [And Thorfinn, but he’s not part of this conversation.] - have just got to take extra-good care of him until if she ever comes back.
[ Jean looks up and gives Subaru a small smile, before he looks down. ]
I know what it's like to lose someone and know you're not going to get them back, no matter how hard you wish for it. I don't know if it'd be fair to him to ask him to hope. But I can show him how to keep living and find happiness, even after it's so painful you think you could die.
[ Marco, Sasha, Bertholdt, even people like Floch... they'd all been important to Jean. All gone. ]
And even if he never gets better... I'll still take care of him.
[Subaru’s never been good at accepting losses; every one he’s faced, he’s resolved to repair it, to fix things - and he’s had the power to.
It leaves him uniquely unequipped to face a situation like this, when he’s coasted by so far on hope and determination.
He can’t help but admire Jean’s resolve.]
Already…you’re really good to him, huh?
[The fact makes him feel a little inadequate; all this talk of saving Eren, and what has he managed to achieve? What is even his game plan here? Whereas Jean, he’s strong, reliable, he’s got it all figured out.
He lets out another sigh.]
I have some serious making-up to do. I owe him… [A lot, it turns out.] …better than I’ve given him.
I'm not sure how long it takes. A couple days seems like the average, from what I've heard. And like I said, it's fine if you stay, I don't think either of us should be alone right now.
[ He's finally finished with Subaru's legs, at the very least, and leans back a bit on his heels. ]
I don't know how good your healing is. Should I bother bandaging these up?
When it comes to healing, my magic’s not up to snuff. [It’s just another reminder that he ought to practice it harder…he shrugs.] Besides that, I’m just your regular old human.
[He raises an ankle to inspect. The smaller cuts he could probably handle, but the deeper ones…no chance.]
[ At least he can heal - Jean just gets fire. And a cat with wings that judges him. ]
That makes two of us, then. I'm not like Mikasa or Eren.
[ He frowns a little looking over Subaru's legs. A couple are definitely going to require stitching, unfortunately, which means he produces the next thing he'll need from the medkit - a bottle of alcohol. ]
Drink as much of that as you can stand, then. I need to get a couple extra things.
[ That being an actual suture kit and cleansing wipes. No, he won't be disinfecting with alcohol!
[ He says in confusion, because he comes from a society where 15 year olds can go to bars. ]
It's not very good, but I guarantee you you're not going to want to be sober when I stitch these deeper ones closed so they can heal without bleeding you dry.
[ He returns with a second medical box, this one hardwood. It has a hooked needle and synthetic fiber inside it, along with cleansing wipes - it's actually relatively modern, probably to some relief. ]
Don't exactly have time to go out and look for painkillers.
[ Jean gives him that one 'good show', patting his knee before he gets to work. He sanitizes the needle and the first of the scratches, and then gets to work quickly suturing them together.
For a mercy, he is quick, his hands steady. The first is stitched up, regardless of any wriggling, yelling or hollering that may occur. He repeats the sanitizing on the second scratch, intently focused.
When all is said and done, he gives another comforting squeeze against unscratched skin. ]
[There is some involuntary wiggling, the definite sound of Subaru sucking in air through gritted teeth, and his white-knuckle grip on the bottle looks close to smashing it, but for the most part he takes it like a champ.
When Jean announces he’s done, he lets out a heavy sigh of relief.]
Thanks for being quick.
[He probably couldn’t have held out much longer if he took his time.]
The worse of it is over. You won't even need to get these pulled out - they fall out on their own. We don't have anything like that at home.
[ Jean keeps his voice even, reassuring. He remembers squirming like a bitch the first time - anesthesia was for surgery, not stitches.
He attends himself to wiping down the cuts again with the antibacterial wipes and beginning to cover them in gauze, wrapping them in bandages afterwards. ]
[It’s funny, were he back home with the people that care about him, he’d probably get chewed out for his poor showing, for all his twitching and squirming.
Ah, he misses them.]
…Thanks. [He feels a little like he doesn’t know what to do with Jean’s words. He’s surprised they came out at all.] Guess I can give this back to you now.
[ Jean takes the bottle with a small smile, tucking it away with the rest of his supplies. It's tempting to drink it himself but... well, he'd rather not be that kind of guy. He's seen how easy it is to fall into it. ]
[ Jean laughs despite himself. He knows Subaru isn't much younger than him - only a couple years at most - but he still rises to his feet and ruffles his hair gently. ]
Well, I'll leave you the medical kit out, then. You probably need some rest, but if you get hungry let me know. We've got plenty of leftovers, or I can make something if you want something special.
And... I cried, the first time they had to stitch me up. It wasn't even noble. I busted my arm on a training dummy.
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[The particulars of Jean’s wording aren’t missed by Subaru. It’s not that he hasn’t noticed it too, that Eren wasn’t quite himself. He’d seen his bloodlust before, but this was…different.
He winces, as the thorns are pulled out, involuntarily jerking his leg.]
I meant to ask him, but…[He’s dead now.] since I can’t, I figure you’re the next best option. Did something happen?
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[ Jean's not actually judging him, though. They're just two guys who used to fight rather than admit they were worried about each other. They still act this way, to be fair, but Jean's a little more in tune with how he's feeling.
He makes an apologetic, soothing noise when Subaru jerks his leg, but doesn't grab it or accidentally jab him - he's used to twitchy patients.
At the question, though, Jean glances to the side, where 'their' room is. Neither of them have slept in it, so the door remains solidly closed. ]
Mikasa... she's not here anymore. When the Knight showed up, I thought maybe she'd been taken but her things are missing.
[ Her network ID is dead, as well. Grief is visible all over Jean's face again, but he knows Mikasa and Eren were even closer than he was. ]
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[Subaru lowers his head. He didn’t know Mikasa, but he knew what she meant to Eren. It’d be like if he lost Emilia, but…at least he has Emilia to go back home to. He knows that Eren’s future is more bleak.
The grief on Jean’s face makes it all too clear what the answer to his next question will be.]
There’s no way of knowing if she’s coming back, is there…?
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[ Of this, Jean is certain. Why would either of them choose to return to a world where Eren is dead? For all the pain and suffering they've dealt with here, it's still nothing compared to back home.
In this, Subaru's wounds provide a good distraction, Jean carefully removing the last of some thorns and then gently wiping away blood. As he speaks, his voice is as gentle as his hands. ]
I hope... one day, she comes back. But I don't know if Eren has the ability to hope for that, anymore.
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Let alone someone he loves.
He sighs, and folds his arms.]
Then there’s nothing for it. You and me - [And Thorfinn, but he’s not part of this conversation.] - have just got to take extra-good care of him until if she ever comes back.
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I know what it's like to lose someone and know you're not going to get them back, no matter how hard you wish for it. I don't know if it'd be fair to him to ask him to hope. But I can show him how to keep living and find happiness, even after it's so painful you think you could die.
[ Marco, Sasha, Bertholdt, even people like Floch... they'd all been important to Jean. All gone. ]
And even if he never gets better... I'll still take care of him.
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It leaves him uniquely unequipped to face a situation like this, when he’s coasted by so far on hope and determination.
He can’t help but admire Jean’s resolve.]
Already…you’re really good to him, huh?
[The fact makes him feel a little inadequate; all this talk of saving Eren, and what has he managed to achieve? What is even his game plan here? Whereas Jean, he’s strong, reliable, he’s got it all figured out.
He lets out another sigh.]
I have some serious making-up to do. I owe him… [A lot, it turns out.] …better than I’ve given him.
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[ Jean gives Subaru a serious look, giving a gesture with one bloody towel to the state of his legs. ]
It takes two people to dance, don't forget that.
[ Jean, strong, reliable, all figured out? He's terrified and constantly making shit up as he goes. ]
You're good to him too, Subaru. When he talks about you, it's always with a smile on his face. He cares a lot about you.
[ Maybe even loves him, but that's not his place to share. ]
Like you said - we'll both take care of him together.
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…ah, how he wants to see Eren smile again.]
Yeah. When he gets back, he won’t know what’s coming.
[He nods, affirming it. That’s how he’ll make it up to him, for sure.]
…It’s gonna be weird, waiting it out. I’m way too used to seeing him every day.
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[ He's finally finished with Subaru's legs, at the very least, and leans back a bit on his heels. ]
I don't know how good your healing is. Should I bother bandaging these up?
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[He raises an ankle to inspect. The smaller cuts he could probably handle, but the deeper ones…no chance.]
Guess we’ve got to do it the old fashioned way.
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That makes two of us, then. I'm not like Mikasa or Eren.
[ He frowns a little looking over Subaru's legs. A couple are definitely going to require stitching, unfortunately, which means he produces the next thing he'll need from the medkit - a bottle of alcohol. ]
Drink as much of that as you can stand, then. I need to get a couple extra things.
[ That being an actual suture kit and cleansing wipes. No, he won't be disinfecting with alcohol!
That's the painkiller for Subaru. ]
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Wait a second! What the heck is this?! And why the hell are you giving it to me?!
[What are you going to DO TO HIM, Jean!!! He thought it wasn’t that bad!!!]
tw: medical talk. this entire tag made me cackle
[ He says in confusion, because he comes from a society where 15 year olds can go to bars. ]
It's not very good, but I guarantee you you're not going to want to be sober when I stitch these deeper ones closed so they can heal without bleeding you dry.
[ He returns with a second medical box, this one hardwood. It has a hooked needle and synthetic fiber inside it, along with cleansing wipes - it's actually relatively modern, probably to some relief. ]
Don't exactly have time to go out and look for painkillers.
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That really doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence, you know…?!
[Oh he hates this. He hates it! Curse you Eren!]
I don’t drink, but…there’s really no other option, is there?
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You don't have to drink it, if you don't want. But it's there if you can't stand the pain.
[ Jean has been stitched up without it. It sucked, but he also gets hurt on the regular enough that he knows how to handle it. ]
There's only a couple I can see that need this. The most important thing you'll need to do is not move.
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[Subaru takes the bottle, and balances it on his knee, keeping it in place with a hand. It’s there if he needs it, but…
…well, hasn’t he been through way worse?]
Bring it on.
i'm not going into detail but stitches!
[ Jean gives him that one 'good show', patting his knee before he gets to work. He sanitizes the needle and the first of the scratches, and then gets to work quickly suturing them together.
For a mercy, he is quick, his hands steady. The first is stitched up, regardless of any wriggling, yelling or hollering that may occur. He repeats the sanitizing on the second scratch, intently focused.
When all is said and done, he gives another comforting squeeze against unscratched skin. ]
All right, just have to bandage it now.
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When Jean announces he’s done, he lets out a heavy sigh of relief.]
Thanks for being quick.
[He probably couldn’t have held out much longer if he took his time.]
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[ Jean keeps his voice even, reassuring. He remembers squirming like a bitch the first time - anesthesia was for surgery, not stitches.
He attends himself to wiping down the cuts again with the antibacterial wipes and beginning to cover them in gauze, wrapping them in bandages afterwards. ]
You did good.
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Ah, he misses them.]
…Thanks. [He feels a little like he doesn’t know what to do with Jean’s words. He’s surprised they came out at all.] Guess I can give this back to you now.
[He offers back the alcohol.]
Save it for next time.
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How's the rest of you?
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Nothing I can’t handle myself. I think you got the worst of it.
[And then, somewhat jokingly:]
Plus, I don’t think I could take getting stitched up again!
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Well, I'll leave you the medical kit out, then. You probably need some rest, but if you get hungry let me know. We've got plenty of leftovers, or I can make something if you want something special.
And... I cried, the first time they had to stitch me up. It wasn't even noble. I busted my arm on a training dummy.
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Seriously? How did you manage that?
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tw: child abuse though the character doesn't see it as such
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