[Boyfriend…he’s never been anyone’s boyfriend, as much as he wanted it. There’s many new things happening, here.]
…I really like you, too. [It’s the first he’s admitted it. Even at this point, it doesn’t feel redundant to say.] But, you know, I also really like Emilia-tan…
[He doesn’t know how to navigate this, honestly.]
But you’ve got Mikasa and Jean, too. [And any other partners he’s neglected to mention.] So I suppose that doesn’t bother you, does it…?
[How did that conversation with Jean and Mikasa go all those months ago…?]
I don’t really see why someone should only be with one person if they love someone else too.
Sometimes you might get jealous, I guess, but it’s not really a big deal. [Mikasa doesn’t like to hear the details about Eren’s other relationships (outside of Jean), but that’s not Subaru’s burden to bear.]
I want you to be with Emilia-tan. She’s like…the love of your life.
But while we’re here…[He shrugs a bit. It’s not as if Eren would want Subaru to leave him if Emilia-tan were to show up or something, but…he doesn’t really think he’d be the type of person to do something like that.]
[It takes him a moment, but eventually he sighs with some relief.]
When you put it like that, there’s really no fighting with that logic…
[Whilst they were here, what point is there denying himself what he clearly wants? Especially - as was said to him - it could be ripped away at any moment.]
Alright. It’s some pretty daunting stuff, but I’ll do my best to be a good boyfriend...!
[There's a flutter in Eren's chest. He's only weeks out of the labyrinth, and he doesn't deserve more than he's already been given (he feels that's unfair enough already), but here he is, and it feels alright to just have something simple like a kiss, and a boyfriend.
[He's supposed to live in this world without causing trouble. He's not sure he can do that, but if he has to be here, then he has to...have things, want things...
[Subaru's already been good for him. He ought to tell him that...He's not sure how.
[He observes their hands, sitting between their laps. He fiddles with them, turning Subaru's over in his.]
You don't have to try so hard. It's cute...but...
You know I'm no good myself. I can't make a promise to you like that. I want to make you happy if I can.
And you've made me feel alright. Not much else does lately...
[It’s cute, the way Eren fiddles with his hands…he’s vulnerable to thinking that he’s on top of everything all the time, so seeing these moments of thought, of indecision…it’s nice.]
Alright, then. How’s this instead? Since we’re both lowly trash, let’s have a relationship of zero expectations. There’s no pressure either way, and it’s impossible to disappoint!
[He doesn’t want Eren to feel burdened, hopefully this should lessen that.]
[Eren knows that loving him is a fate worse than death. It’s cruel to spread that disease like this. He shouldn’t like it so much - feel comforted by, even - the way Subaru calls them both trash. Subaru is not (no one is) worse than him, but he gets so tired of people insisting he’s good when he knows he’s not. If Subaru says they’re both trash, then they’re both trash. It’s freeing, in a way, to feel equal to someone in that way…
[One corner of his mouth lifts, subtle but sharp. He glances at Subaru.
[He can do zero expectations. He’ll probably disappoint Subaru anyway, but sure.]
We’ll do what we feel, and what we want.
And no lying. [Eren lifts his head, looks Subaru dead in the eye. The smile has faded; he looks deadly serious.]
No matter what you’ve done, or what you tell me, you know I’m just as bad as you. So, you can tell me anything.
[It’s kind of a source of pride, isn’t it, that Subaru says that, but also said he wasn’t into guys? Eren figures it’s only a matter of time for anyone, but still.
[He drapes his arms over Subaru’s shoulders, hands lazily scratching at the nape of his boyfriend’s (boyfriend!) neck.
[He played himself again. He isn’t expecting the detailed compliment, and it makes his cheeks go red pretty much instantly. He didn’t blush from kissing like Subaru did.
[He’s no good at compliments like that…
[More kissing, then. He’s learning pretty quickly that action is a good way of expressing affection.]
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…Was it really that obvious..?!
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No. It was good. [They’re still close. Another kiss is stolen.]
I liked it.
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The extra kiss isn’t bad, either.]
Good.
[He sounds relieved. He lets a moment pass between them, before-]
So… [He looks down at the floor.] Does this mean - I mean, nothing has to change, but you know, usually, a kiss means…
[Oh god, he’s rambling. Help him, Eren.]
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It means I like you. You could be my boyfriend if you wanted. I figure there's no use waiting around to say it at this point...
Honestly, though...
[He kisses those knuckles; lowers their hands.]
It doesn't matter all that much what you call it. I just want to be with you.
[It's new - fast - but Eren doesn't have to think twice about it. No one knows how much time they have left here. It's the truth.]
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…I really like you, too. [It’s the first he’s admitted it. Even at this point, it doesn’t feel redundant to say.] But, you know, I also really like Emilia-tan…
[He doesn’t know how to navigate this, honestly.]
But you’ve got Mikasa and Jean, too. [And any other partners he’s neglected to mention.] So I suppose that doesn’t bother you, does it…?
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It doesn’t bother me at all, I mean…
[How did that conversation with Jean and Mikasa go all those months ago…?]
I don’t really see why someone should only be with one person if they love someone else too.
Sometimes you might get jealous, I guess, but it’s not really a big deal. [Mikasa doesn’t like to hear the details about Eren’s other relationships (outside of Jean), but that’s not Subaru’s burden to bear.]
I want you to be with Emilia-tan. She’s like…the love of your life.
But while we’re here…[He shrugs a bit. It’s not as if Eren would want Subaru to leave him if Emilia-tan were to show up or something, but…he doesn’t really think he’d be the type of person to do something like that.]
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When you put it like that, there’s really no fighting with that logic…
[Whilst they were here, what point is there denying himself what he clearly wants? Especially - as was said to him - it could be ripped away at any moment.]
Alright. It’s some pretty daunting stuff, but I’ll do my best to be a good boyfriend...!
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[He's supposed to live in this world without causing trouble. He's not sure he can do that, but if he has to be here, then he has to...have things, want things...
[Subaru's already been good for him. He ought to tell him that...He's not sure how.
[He observes their hands, sitting between their laps. He fiddles with them, turning Subaru's over in his.]
You don't have to try so hard. It's cute...but...
You know I'm no good myself. I can't make a promise to you like that. I want to make you happy if I can.
And you've made me feel alright. Not much else does lately...
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Alright, then. How’s this instead? Since we’re both lowly trash, let’s have a relationship of zero expectations. There’s no pressure either way, and it’s impossible to disappoint!
[He doesn’t want Eren to feel burdened, hopefully this should lessen that.]
Re: Zero expectations
[One corner of his mouth lifts, subtle but sharp. He glances at Subaru.
[He can do zero expectations. He’ll probably disappoint Subaru anyway, but sure.]
We’ll do what we feel, and what we want.
And no lying. [Eren lifts his head, looks Subaru dead in the eye. The smile has faded; he looks deadly serious.]
No matter what you’ve done, or what you tell me, you know I’m just as bad as you. So, you can tell me anything.
That person…past all the bullshit…
That’s who I want.
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Then, he breaks it.]
…Man, you really do have bad taste…
[The person Subaru is, the person he’s desperately tried avoiding being, is the one that Eren wants…?
It’s hard to imagine. He should be grateful that someone would want him at his ugliest - and he is - but one scared part of him wonders…
…underneath it all, is there anything there?]
…You got it. No secrets. No lies.
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It’s settled, then.
And that means…
[He takes Subaru’s face in his hands again, kissing, kissing.]
I’m gonna be around more often. That okay with you?
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…Yeah. [A little breathlessly. A little stunned. He’s not used to this quite yet.] Come as often as you like.
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[There's a pause.]
You're really cute.
[It needs to be said. Just look at him!]
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That’s really not fair, you know…
[Face red, he protests.]
You really can’t say that kind of stuff in a tone like that and just expect me to take it…!
[He’s DYING, Eren!]
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Remember what I said on the network? I like the way you look.
Especially blushing like that.
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W-well…you’re not bad yourself, either.
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[He drapes his arms over Subaru’s shoulders, hands lazily scratching at the nape of his boyfriend’s (boyfriend!) neck.
[Big Green Eyes Attack. He’s watching.]
You think so? Subaru?
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Y-yeah. [He’s not unsure, just embarrassed.] I mean, you’ve got handsome features, and these big, pretty eyes, and your skin is really soft…
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[He’s no good at compliments like that…
[More kissing, then. He’s learning pretty quickly that action is a good way of expressing affection.]