[With all the responsibility he feels over the situation, he finds it easy to accept Jean’s offer.]
Thanks.
[He closes his eyes for a brief moment. It’s all so exhausting. He’s seen death so many times, yet he’s never gotten used to it.]
…I can help you cook, if you’d like. [He can’t help the way his face eases into a fond sort of smile, despite everything.] I don’t think Eren would let us get away without eating.
[Yeah, that. Up until now, he’d completely ignored his own wounds. His gaze trails downwards. If he’s trailed blood in through the house, he’ll owe them some serious apologies.]
[ There is blood on the floor, and Jean doesn't care. He'll clean it up or make Eren do it as some kind of fucked up penance, probably. ]
You're allowed to be. Go sit down, I'll finish getting some supplies together.
[ He reaches down and ruffles Subaru's hair without thinking too hard about it, before he points him towards one of the kitchen chairs. It probably won't be the worst wounds Jean's ever dealt with, but he's not going to be brusque about it. ]
[Subaru takes a seat on one of the chairs, giving his legs a concerned look-over. It’s not the worst state he’s been in - far from losing an eye or a limb - but it’s still not pretty.]
Sounds like you’re pretty used to this kind of thing.
[ Jean disappears from view for a couple minutes, returning with an actual medical kit, as well as a collection of bandages and a pair of surgical scissors, as well as towels and a bowl of water. The scissors make their use clear right away, as he cuts away the shreds of Subaru's pants carefully. ]
I don't know if Eren's told you anything about where we come from, but it's brutal. We all got the same on the field training for emergencies. Eren had the benefit of being able to heal if he got hurt, though. The rest of us, and Mikasa, are just human, so we had to be careful.
[ As he looks at Subaru's legs and feet, though, he lets out a small sigh. ]
There's a lot, but most of it seems shallow. You'll probably have some wicked scars, even if you heal this up.
[ Though the chew toy to dogs is a concerning vision, Jean's smiling when he comments on Subaru's comment about Eren. That's just the kind of relationship he and Eren have - they deeply care about each other, but they're also the type to quibble with each other over the most ridiculous things.
He wets one of the towels to gingerly start scrubbing off the dirt, blood, and plant matter - actually, it seems like some thorns have lodged themselves into Subaru's legs, so he produces a pair of tweezers to gingerly tug them out as he does it. ]
You normally wouldn't have to do much convincing to get him to.
[ But he has been different, since Mikasa left - more focused, full of rage. Ironically, much more like the young Eren who hadn't learned better than the one he knows. ]
Despite appearances, he really is an affectionate guy, huh?
[The particulars of Jean’s wording aren’t missed by Subaru. It’s not that he hasn’t noticed it too, that Eren wasn’t quite himself. He’d seen his bloodlust before, but this was…different.
He winces, as the thorns are pulled out, involuntarily jerking his leg.]
I meant to ask him, but…[He’s dead now.] since I can’t, I figure you’re the next best option. Did something happen?
[ Jean's not actually judging him, though. They're just two guys who used to fight rather than admit they were worried about each other. They still act this way, to be fair, but Jean's a little more in tune with how he's feeling.
He makes an apologetic, soothing noise when Subaru jerks his leg, but doesn't grab it or accidentally jab him - he's used to twitchy patients.
At the question, though, Jean glances to the side, where 'their' room is. Neither of them have slept in it, so the door remains solidly closed. ]
Mikasa... she's not here anymore. When the Knight showed up, I thought maybe she'd been taken but her things are missing.
[ Her network ID is dead, as well. Grief is visible all over Jean's face again, but he knows Mikasa and Eren were even closer than he was. ]
[Subaru lowers his head. He didn’t know Mikasa, but he knew what she meant to Eren. It’d be like if he lost Emilia, but…at least he has Emilia to go back home to. He knows that Eren’s future is more bleak.
The grief on Jean’s face makes it all too clear what the answer to his next question will be.]
There’s no way of knowing if she’s coming back, is there…?
[ Of this, Jean is certain. Why would either of them choose to return to a world where Eren is dead? For all the pain and suffering they've dealt with here, it's still nothing compared to back home.
In this, Subaru's wounds provide a good distraction, Jean carefully removing the last of some thorns and then gently wiping away blood. As he speaks, his voice is as gentle as his hands. ]
I hope... one day, she comes back. But I don't know if Eren has the ability to hope for that, anymore.
[Subaru’s been there; he knows what it’s like to live without hope, and though he’s managed to bounce back from it, he’d never wish that on anyone else.
Let alone someone he loves.
He sighs, and folds his arms.]
Then there’s nothing for it. You and me - [And Thorfinn, but he’s not part of this conversation.] - have just got to take extra-good care of him until if she ever comes back.
[ Jean looks up and gives Subaru a small smile, before he looks down. ]
I know what it's like to lose someone and know you're not going to get them back, no matter how hard you wish for it. I don't know if it'd be fair to him to ask him to hope. But I can show him how to keep living and find happiness, even after it's so painful you think you could die.
[ Marco, Sasha, Bertholdt, even people like Floch... they'd all been important to Jean. All gone. ]
And even if he never gets better... I'll still take care of him.
[Subaru’s never been good at accepting losses; every one he’s faced, he’s resolved to repair it, to fix things - and he’s had the power to.
It leaves him uniquely unequipped to face a situation like this, when he’s coasted by so far on hope and determination.
He can’t help but admire Jean’s resolve.]
Already…you’re really good to him, huh?
[The fact makes him feel a little inadequate; all this talk of saving Eren, and what has he managed to achieve? What is even his game plan here? Whereas Jean, he’s strong, reliable, he’s got it all figured out.
He lets out another sigh.]
I have some serious making-up to do. I owe him… [A lot, it turns out.] …better than I’ve given him.
I'm not sure how long it takes. A couple days seems like the average, from what I've heard. And like I said, it's fine if you stay, I don't think either of us should be alone right now.
[ He's finally finished with Subaru's legs, at the very least, and leans back a bit on his heels. ]
I don't know how good your healing is. Should I bother bandaging these up?
When it comes to healing, my magic’s not up to snuff. [It’s just another reminder that he ought to practice it harder…he shrugs.] Besides that, I’m just your regular old human.
[He raises an ankle to inspect. The smaller cuts he could probably handle, but the deeper ones…no chance.]
[ At least he can heal - Jean just gets fire. And a cat with wings that judges him. ]
That makes two of us, then. I'm not like Mikasa or Eren.
[ He frowns a little looking over Subaru's legs. A couple are definitely going to require stitching, unfortunately, which means he produces the next thing he'll need from the medkit - a bottle of alcohol. ]
Drink as much of that as you can stand, then. I need to get a couple extra things.
[ That being an actual suture kit and cleansing wipes. No, he won't be disinfecting with alcohol!
[ He says in confusion, because he comes from a society where 15 year olds can go to bars. ]
It's not very good, but I guarantee you you're not going to want to be sober when I stitch these deeper ones closed so they can heal without bleeding you dry.
[ He returns with a second medical box, this one hardwood. It has a hooked needle and synthetic fiber inside it, along with cleansing wipes - it's actually relatively modern, probably to some relief. ]
Don't exactly have time to go out and look for painkillers.
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Thanks.
[He closes his eyes for a brief moment. It’s all so exhausting. He’s seen death so many times, yet he’s never gotten used to it.]
…I can help you cook, if you’d like. [He can’t help the way his face eases into a fond sort of smile, despite everything.] I don’t think Eren would let us get away without eating.
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Oh, he'd throw a fit about it. We don't have food like this back home, or something like that.
[ Jean raises one hand to press at his own forehead, easing the headache he can surely feel building. ]
Lets get you cleaned up first, though. Need to figure out if those cuts on your legs need stitches.
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[Yeah, that. Up until now, he’d completely ignored his own wounds. His gaze trails downwards. If he’s trailed blood in through the house, he’ll owe them some serious apologies.]
Sorry, I’m a total mess.
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You're allowed to be. Go sit down, I'll finish getting some supplies together.
[ He reaches down and ruffles Subaru's hair without thinking too hard about it, before he points him towards one of the kitchen chairs. It probably won't be the worst wounds Jean's ever dealt with, but he's not going to be brusque about it. ]
cw: dismemberment/eye trauma mentions
Sounds like you’re pretty used to this kind of thing.
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I don't know if Eren's told you anything about where we come from, but it's brutal. We all got the same on the field training for emergencies. Eren had the benefit of being able to heal if he got hurt, though. The rest of us, and Mikasa, are just human, so we had to be careful.
[ As he looks at Subaru's legs and feet, though, he lets out a small sigh. ]
There's a lot, but most of it seems shallow. You'll probably have some wicked scars, even if you heal this up.
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[He supposes, in a world like that, it really isn’t too surprising that someone should have at least basic medical knowledge.
At Jean’s assessment, he feels some relief.]
I’ve got plenty of those from playing chew toy for a pack of dogs, so what’s a couple more?
[He chuckles, then, to himself.]
Ah…maybe I should get Ere-chan to kiss it better when he gets back.
tw: cleaning of wounds???
[ Though the chew toy to dogs is a concerning vision, Jean's smiling when he comments on Subaru's comment about Eren. That's just the kind of relationship he and Eren have - they deeply care about each other, but they're also the type to quibble with each other over the most ridiculous things.
He wets one of the towels to gingerly start scrubbing off the dirt, blood, and plant matter - actually, it seems like some thorns have lodged themselves into Subaru's legs, so he produces a pair of tweezers to gingerly tug them out as he does it. ]
You normally wouldn't have to do much convincing to get him to.
[ But he has been different, since Mikasa left - more focused, full of rage. Ironically, much more like the young Eren who hadn't learned better than the one he knows. ]
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[The particulars of Jean’s wording aren’t missed by Subaru. It’s not that he hasn’t noticed it too, that Eren wasn’t quite himself. He’d seen his bloodlust before, but this was…different.
He winces, as the thorns are pulled out, involuntarily jerking his leg.]
I meant to ask him, but…[He’s dead now.] since I can’t, I figure you’re the next best option. Did something happen?
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[ Jean's not actually judging him, though. They're just two guys who used to fight rather than admit they were worried about each other. They still act this way, to be fair, but Jean's a little more in tune with how he's feeling.
He makes an apologetic, soothing noise when Subaru jerks his leg, but doesn't grab it or accidentally jab him - he's used to twitchy patients.
At the question, though, Jean glances to the side, where 'their' room is. Neither of them have slept in it, so the door remains solidly closed. ]
Mikasa... she's not here anymore. When the Knight showed up, I thought maybe she'd been taken but her things are missing.
[ Her network ID is dead, as well. Grief is visible all over Jean's face again, but he knows Mikasa and Eren were even closer than he was. ]
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[Subaru lowers his head. He didn’t know Mikasa, but he knew what she meant to Eren. It’d be like if he lost Emilia, but…at least he has Emilia to go back home to. He knows that Eren’s future is more bleak.
The grief on Jean’s face makes it all too clear what the answer to his next question will be.]
There’s no way of knowing if she’s coming back, is there…?
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[ Of this, Jean is certain. Why would either of them choose to return to a world where Eren is dead? For all the pain and suffering they've dealt with here, it's still nothing compared to back home.
In this, Subaru's wounds provide a good distraction, Jean carefully removing the last of some thorns and then gently wiping away blood. As he speaks, his voice is as gentle as his hands. ]
I hope... one day, she comes back. But I don't know if Eren has the ability to hope for that, anymore.
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Let alone someone he loves.
He sighs, and folds his arms.]
Then there’s nothing for it. You and me - [And Thorfinn, but he’s not part of this conversation.] - have just got to take extra-good care of him until if she ever comes back.
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I know what it's like to lose someone and know you're not going to get them back, no matter how hard you wish for it. I don't know if it'd be fair to him to ask him to hope. But I can show him how to keep living and find happiness, even after it's so painful you think you could die.
[ Marco, Sasha, Bertholdt, even people like Floch... they'd all been important to Jean. All gone. ]
And even if he never gets better... I'll still take care of him.
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It leaves him uniquely unequipped to face a situation like this, when he’s coasted by so far on hope and determination.
He can’t help but admire Jean’s resolve.]
Already…you’re really good to him, huh?
[The fact makes him feel a little inadequate; all this talk of saving Eren, and what has he managed to achieve? What is even his game plan here? Whereas Jean, he’s strong, reliable, he’s got it all figured out.
He lets out another sigh.]
I have some serious making-up to do. I owe him… [A lot, it turns out.] …better than I’ve given him.
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[ Jean gives Subaru a serious look, giving a gesture with one bloody towel to the state of his legs. ]
It takes two people to dance, don't forget that.
[ Jean, strong, reliable, all figured out? He's terrified and constantly making shit up as he goes. ]
You're good to him too, Subaru. When he talks about you, it's always with a smile on his face. He cares a lot about you.
[ Maybe even loves him, but that's not his place to share. ]
Like you said - we'll both take care of him together.
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…ah, how he wants to see Eren smile again.]
Yeah. When he gets back, he won’t know what’s coming.
[He nods, affirming it. That’s how he’ll make it up to him, for sure.]
…It’s gonna be weird, waiting it out. I’m way too used to seeing him every day.
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[ He's finally finished with Subaru's legs, at the very least, and leans back a bit on his heels. ]
I don't know how good your healing is. Should I bother bandaging these up?
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[He raises an ankle to inspect. The smaller cuts he could probably handle, but the deeper ones…no chance.]
Guess we’ve got to do it the old fashioned way.
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That makes two of us, then. I'm not like Mikasa or Eren.
[ He frowns a little looking over Subaru's legs. A couple are definitely going to require stitching, unfortunately, which means he produces the next thing he'll need from the medkit - a bottle of alcohol. ]
Drink as much of that as you can stand, then. I need to get a couple extra things.
[ That being an actual suture kit and cleansing wipes. No, he won't be disinfecting with alcohol!
That's the painkiller for Subaru. ]
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Wait a second! What the heck is this?! And why the hell are you giving it to me?!
[What are you going to DO TO HIM, Jean!!! He thought it wasn’t that bad!!!]
tw: medical talk. this entire tag made me cackle
[ He says in confusion, because he comes from a society where 15 year olds can go to bars. ]
It's not very good, but I guarantee you you're not going to want to be sober when I stitch these deeper ones closed so they can heal without bleeding you dry.
[ He returns with a second medical box, this one hardwood. It has a hooked needle and synthetic fiber inside it, along with cleansing wipes - it's actually relatively modern, probably to some relief. ]
Don't exactly have time to go out and look for painkillers.
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That really doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence, you know…?!
[Oh he hates this. He hates it! Curse you Eren!]
I don’t drink, but…there’s really no other option, is there?
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You don't have to drink it, if you don't want. But it's there if you can't stand the pain.
[ Jean has been stitched up without it. It sucked, but he also gets hurt on the regular enough that he knows how to handle it. ]
There's only a couple I can see that need this. The most important thing you'll need to do is not move.
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[Subaru takes the bottle, and balances it on his knee, keeping it in place with a hand. It’s there if he needs it, but…
…well, hasn’t he been through way worse?]
Bring it on.
i'm not going into detail but stitches!
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tw: child abuse though the character doesn't see it as such
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