When I got transported to another world, there wasn’t a whole lot of options…I mean, I tried staying in the mansion as a guest, but that didn’t win over anyone’s trust - so on the next loop, I asked to work there instead.
[He takes another bite. He should probably sit down…but isn’t that being a little too lazy?]
It was hard work, and the maids had really high standards, but…it really wasn’t bad.
[Subaru sits on the bed - one of the two in the house. If Eren ventures into the adjoining bedroom, he’ll find that the other is, in contrast to his, perfectly made.]
You say that, but it’s kinda hard to just sit back and let you clean up my mess like this…
I don't mind it. [Just let me. If he stops moving, who knows what might happen?]
Don't think I'll make a habit of it...You have to look after yourself too. [Yet, he's still going. He won't go into the bedrooms without asking for; he has some rudimentary understanding of boundaries, at least.]
[He does have to look after himself, huh? He was ready to throw his self-care by the wayside, but when Eren says it, he feels like it’s harder to ignore.]
Huh?
[Subaru likes the sound of that decision; he’s spent far too many lonely hours in this house.
[Eren can’t imagine…He forgets sometimes to be grateful that he always has someone to come home to; when he walks through the door and the house is empty - even temporarily - he feels nothing but dread.]
Do you…spend every night sleeping by yourself?
[Not that that sort of thing is necessarily uncommon where Eren comes from under normal circumstances, but he spent most of his time in the military sharing beds for lack of resources. It’s…not something he’d ever want to go back on now.]
[Perhaps Eren lacks the social contexts that Subaru has for why this question nearly makes him choke on the fruit, despite how full of concern it may be.]
Y-yeah?! [He looks at him, face flustered.] I mean, who would I be sleeping with?!
No, I'm not. [He's bent halfway over, picking something up from off the ground. He straightens.] It isn't really about that, though.
[Or...is it? Eren's lips draw briefly into a tight line. He looks tense; after a moment, though, the tension evens out into something...weaker. His hand idly flexes and twists at his side, as if in pain.]
Those people...The ones who believe in me, even though I fail them again and again, even though I hate myself...
[Subaru gets it, right?]
I don't want to go home to them tonight.
[He is not entirely clueless; he gets how it sounds.]
[Eren stops working (he's gotten an impressive amount done just as they've been talking), and sits down next to Subaru instead; presses their knees together, leans back on his arm so that it's pressed up close to the other boy's back. He just wants to see if that blush might get worse...]
[Eren really likes getting close, doesn’t he…? It’s just one of those quirks of his, he supposes. Still, he can’t help the colour he turns in response.]
I-it was good! [He’s grateful for the change in topic, though he’s still a little flustered.] Jean’s a real good cook, I haven’t had something that delicious in a while!
[Eren likes getting closed to people who blush like that, anyway; one of the reasons he's so charmed by Thorfinn, though his boyfriend would be loathe to admit so.
[He stays close, idly swaying his knee back and forth, pushing it against Subaru's.]
I'll keep bringing it to you, but you'll have to figure food out for yourself eventually. There's no excuse not to eat properly in a world like this.
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When I got transported to another world, there wasn’t a whole lot of options…I mean, I tried staying in the mansion as a guest, but that didn’t win over anyone’s trust - so on the next loop, I asked to work there instead.
[He takes another bite. He should probably sit down…but isn’t that being a little too lazy?]
It was hard work, and the maids had really high standards, but…it really wasn’t bad.
[He misses it, evident in his tone.]
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Sounds like a life of servitude to me. That’s all.
[There’s a pause.]
Sit down. [He’s still going - organizing, dusting, wiping, moving things around; if he weren’t so subdued, it would almost be a bit manic-looking.]
You can relax. [Eren can’t.] I’ve got it.
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You say that, but it’s kinda hard to just sit back and let you clean up my mess like this…
[He has his pride too, you know.]
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Don't think I'll make a habit of it...You have to look after yourself too. [Yet, he's still going. He won't go into the bedrooms without asking for; he has some rudimentary understanding of boundaries, at least.]
I was thinking though...
That I should probably stop by more often.
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Huh?
[Subaru likes the sound of that decision; he’s spent far too many lonely hours in this house.
Still, he’s a little baffled by it.]
What brought that on?
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After everything we talked about, I figured we were both tired of being alone…
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…Yeah. [He is, so desperately. It comes through the way his voice gets a little quieter.] I’d like that.
[He leans back, picking at a strawberry.]
…I used to have a roommate, but she’s gone now. So you don’t have to worry about dropping in on anything - it’s just me here now.
[He tries to sound jovial, casual, but those words feel so damning to say. It’s just him.]
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Do you…spend every night sleeping by yourself?
[Not that that sort of thing is necessarily uncommon where Eren comes from under normal circumstances, but he spent most of his time in the military sharing beds for lack of resources. It’s…not something he’d ever want to go back on now.]
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Y-yeah?! [He looks at him, face flustered.] I mean, who would I be sleeping with?!
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I just can’t really imagine that.
[…]
I’ll stay tonight. [He could use a break, he’s decided, from having to feel his partners’ affections.]
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[And then the next thing comes out of Eren’s mouth, and the connections between the conversations startle him.]
I mean…it’ll be like a sleepover, right? [Right!] You can always take Nowi’s bed if you want.
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Is it really that weird to you? I can't remember the last time I went a night without sharing my bed.
[He doesn't...quite realize how that might sound.]
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[How did Eren…of all people…]
It’s definitely not that big of a deal to sleep alone where I’m from!
[That’s what he tells himself, anyway.]
I mean - you have - you’re not single, right? That’s a totally different game!
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[Or...is it? Eren's lips draw briefly into a tight line. He looks tense; after a moment, though, the tension evens out into something...weaker. His hand idly flexes and twists at his side, as if in pain.]
Those people...The ones who believe in me, even though I fail them again and again, even though I hate myself...
[Subaru gets it, right?]
I don't want to go home to them tonight.
[He is not entirely clueless; he gets how it sounds.]
They won't mind. It's not like that.
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…Yeah. I get it.
[He can’t say his situation is the same, but he understands the feeling.]
Whenever you feel like that…you’ve always got a place here.
[If he’s gonna save Eren, then part of that means saving him from all those painful feelings…even if it’s just by being there.]
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Sounds like you've never shared a bed with anyone at all. That's kinda sad. [Blunt as ever!]
If you don't like it, just kick me out. I'll find somewhere else to go.
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[As awkward as it might be for Subaru, he’s not gonna do that to him.]
But it’s really not that sad! It’s totally normal for a guy my age!
[He sounds so desperate to prove this point…]
I mean - Emilia gave me a lap pillow once, that’s close enough, right?
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N-no! No way! It’s totally innocent!
[Well, in comparison.]
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[The corners of Eren's mouths tug upward.]
You're kind of a prude, aren't you?
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[He’s going red.]
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[Eren stops working (he's gotten an impressive amount done just as they've been talking), and sits down next to Subaru instead; presses their knees together, leans back on his arm so that it's pressed up close to the other boy's back. He just wants to see if that blush might get worse...]
How'd you like the food?
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I-it was good! [He’s grateful for the change in topic, though he’s still a little flustered.] Jean’s a real good cook, I haven’t had something that delicious in a while!
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[He stays close, idly swaying his knee back and forth, pushing it against Subaru's.]
I'll keep bringing it to you, but you'll have to figure food out for yourself eventually. There's no excuse not to eat properly in a world like this.
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[He says it with an air of guilt; he remembers what Eren’s situation was like back home.]
I used to help prepare meals back in the mansion, so it’s not like I don’t know how…besides, I used to cook for me and Nowi, when she lived here.
[It’s a much quieter house without her.]
I just…guess it hasn’t been much of a priority lately.
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