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[victorypose]

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[victorypose]

[Subaru stumbles back, package in his arms, and quickly shuts the door before catching up with Eren.]

Hey, whatever happened to asking to come in?!

[He can’t do anything but protest, knowing full well what a state he’s living in.]

[wintolive]

[Eh…? Subaru hadn’t wanted him to come in? Eren glances dully at him over his shoulder. Too bad…]

You’re really not taking care of yourself at all.

[So much dust. Eren can practically feel Captain Levi’s ass kicking.]

Go ahead and eat.

[The meal is roasted chicken with vegetables and, as always, some fruit. Eren saved the one with strawberries for Subaru.

[He doesn’t wait to see if Subaru complies before casually starting to consolidate things into piles, unable to keep his hands still. He’ll start helping himself to finding a trash bag…]

[victorypose]

[The smell of the food is inviting, and his stomach aches for the sustenance. But he can’t just ignore what’s going on here! Still holding it in hand, he follows Eren around the room.]

O-oi, what are you doing?!

[wintolive]

[Another cool glance.]

Cleaning up. Eat.

[victorypose]

[He wants to protest, but his basic human needs win out. He starts to unwrap the package with some defeat.]

You really don’t have to do that, you know. [The smell of the chicken hits him. It’s so good.] …Sure, it’s not the cleanest, but it could be way worse!

[wintolive]

[Jean’s cooking is amazing - enjoy, Subaru.]

I’m not judging you. [He’s really not.

[He continues to clean.]

You’re getting free food and a clean house. Just relax…

[It’ll help, won’t it? Mess only makes things worse. Eren can’t stand it at all anymore.]

[victorypose]

[He really should just kick back and take advantage this. It’s not every day you get taken care of like this. And some part of him wants to…to have the burden of effort taken off his shoulders…

…He takes a bite into the chicken. It tastes as good as it smells, if not better.]

…If Ram saw me now, she’d give me a brutal talking-to…

[He sighs. He misses all these people who kept his life together.]

Would you believe I used to be a butler, and did my fair share of housekeeping? Kinda hard to tell from all this, isn’t it…

[wintolive]

With all this? [Where did he find that rag? He’s wiping dust off of a shelf.]

Hard to imagine, yeah.

A butler…[He frowns, though it’s subtle.] Who would want to live a life like that?

[victorypose]

[He shrugs.]

When I got transported to another world, there wasn’t a whole lot of options…I mean, I tried staying in the mansion as a guest, but that didn’t win over anyone’s trust - so on the next loop, I asked to work there instead.

[He takes another bite. He should probably sit down…but isn’t that being a little too lazy?]

It was hard work, and the maids had really high standards, but…it really wasn’t bad.

[He misses it, evident in his tone.]

[wintolive]

[It is evident, but…]

Sounds like a life of servitude to me. That’s all.

[There’s a pause.]

Sit down. [He’s still going - organizing, dusting, wiping, moving things around; if he weren’t so subdued, it would almost be a bit manic-looking.]

You can relax. [Eren can’t.] I’ve got it.

[victorypose]

[Subaru sits on the bed - one of the two in the house. If Eren ventures into the adjoining bedroom, he’ll find that the other is, in contrast to his, perfectly made.]

You say that, but it’s kinda hard to just sit back and let you clean up my mess like this…

[He has his pride too, you know.]

[wintolive]

I don't mind it. [Just let me. If he stops moving, who knows what might happen?]

Don't think I'll make a habit of it...You have to look after yourself too. [Yet, he's still going. He won't go into the bedrooms without asking for; he has some rudimentary understanding of boundaries, at least.]

I was thinking though...

That I should probably stop by more often.

[victorypose]

[He does have to look after himself, huh? He was ready to throw his self-care by the wayside, but when Eren says it, he feels like it’s harder to ignore.]

Huh?

[Subaru likes the sound of that decision; he’s spent far too many lonely hours in this house.

Still, he’s a little baffled by it.]

What brought that on?

[wintolive]

[Eren hands slow straightening a pile of books. His frown deepens; maybe with thought, or maybe with something else.]

After everything we talked about, I figured we were both tired of being alone…

[victorypose]

[Ah, of course.]

…Yeah. [He is, so desperately. It comes through the way his voice gets a little quieter.] I’d like that.

[He leans back, picking at a strawberry.]

…I used to have a roommate, but she’s gone now. So you don’t have to worry about dropping in on anything - it’s just me here now.

[He tries to sound jovial, casual, but those words feel so damning to say. It’s just him.]

[wintolive]

[Eren can’t imagine…He forgets sometimes to be grateful that he always has someone to come home to; when he walks through the door and the house is empty - even temporarily - he feels nothing but dread.]

Do you…spend every night sleeping by yourself?

[Not that that sort of thing is necessarily uncommon where Eren comes from under normal circumstances, but he spent most of his time in the military sharing beds for lack of resources. It’s…not something he’d ever want to go back on now.]

[victorypose]

[Perhaps Eren lacks the social contexts that Subaru has for why this question nearly makes him choke on the fruit, despite how full of concern it may be.]

Y-yeah?! [He looks at him, face flustered.] I mean, who would I be sleeping with?!

[wintolive]

Huh? Anyone you want, I guess.

I just can’t really imagine that.

[…]

I’ll stay tonight. [He could use a break, he’s decided, from having to feel his partners’ affections.]

[victorypose]

I…I can’t just sleep with anyone I want…!

[And then the next thing comes out of Eren’s mouth, and the connections between the conversations startle him.]

I mean…it’ll be like a sleepover, right? [Right!] You can always take Nowi’s bed if you want.

[wintolive]

No. I don't like sleeping alone. [Said quite casually. He's back to cleaning.]

Is it really that weird to you? I can't remember the last time I went a night without sharing my bed.

[He doesn't...quite realize how that might sound.]

[victorypose]

S…seriously?

[How did Eren…of all people…]

It’s definitely not that big of a deal to sleep alone where I’m from!

[That’s what he tells himself, anyway.]

I mean - you have - you’re not single, right? That’s a totally different game!

[wintolive]

No, I'm not. [He's bent halfway over, picking something up from off the ground. He straightens.] It isn't really about that, though.

[Or...is it? Eren's lips draw briefly into a tight line. He looks tense; after a moment, though, the tension evens out into something...weaker. His hand idly flexes and twists at his side, as if in pain.]

Those people...The ones who believe in me, even though I fail them again and again, even though I hate myself...

[Subaru gets it, right?]

I don't want to go home to them tonight.

[He is not entirely clueless; he gets how it sounds.]

They won't mind. It's not like that.

[victorypose]

[Subaru watches him for a moment, before looking aside.]

…Yeah. I get it.

[He can’t say his situation is the same, but he understands the feeling.]

Whenever you feel like that…you’ve always got a place here.

[If he’s gonna save Eren, then part of that means saving him from all those painful feelings…even if it’s just by being there.]

[wintolive]

Anyway...

Sounds like you've never shared a bed with anyone at all. That's kinda sad. [Blunt as ever!]

If you don't like it, just kick me out. I'll find somewhere else to go.

[victorypose]

Kicking you out seems kind of extreme…

[As awkward as it might be for Subaru, he’s not gonna do that to him.]

But it’s really not that sad! It’s totally normal for a guy my age!

[He sounds so desperate to prove this point…]

I mean - Emilia gave me a lap pillow once, that’s close enough, right?